We Dutch were going great guns at the Olympics. Racking up a heap of gold, silver and bronze. Enjoying a few unexpected victories, and suffering some unexpected losses. On Day 4 of my stomach flu (and Day 13 of the Games) Jan Blokhuizen lost a spring in his clap skate in the team pursuit, and the Norwegians outskated the Dutch men, setting an Olympic record in the process. Similarly, the Dutch women met their match in the final of the team pursuit when they encountered the amazing skating Japanese threesome Miho Takagi, Ayano Sato and Nana Takagi. Like so many of the skating medals, this one had a hint of the Netherlands about it; the Japanese had been assisted by coach Johan de Wit, who with mathematical precision had logged all their training and competition times in tables and charts. Hypermodern technology and big data in sport. A few milliseconds can mean the difference between gold and a consolation prize.

Torture devices

In recreational sport too technology is playing an ever greater role. And I'm not talking about Tel Sell torture devices like the Ab Cruncher or the Iron Gym Xtreme Extension Bar, which to my mind seem to have come straight out of the SM chambers of the Marquis de Sade. And I already had stomach ache.

But as a vain couch potato I really do feel drawn to technology that promises to get me up and running through a misty mountain landscape to the sound of cool background music. Just do it! Of course, the only thing I'll need is one of those hip self-trackers from Fitbit, Nike or Jawbone. You can take the man out of athletics, but you can't take the athlete out of the man. Something like that.

The sixpack within - deep within

And, you know, some time ago I received a Garmin sports watch as a Father's Day gift, because my wife too can see the six-pack lurking deep (very deep) inside me. Garmin on, running shoes on, and go! Unfortunately, all too soon it became apparent that my short running route, which is enough to make me reach for the oxygen, is just a warming up circuit for anyone else. This was explained to me in minute detail by all the diagrams and tables I viewed in amazement online.

In search of contact with others in my situation I turned to the Garmin website and under the tab 'Motivation' I came across gems like 'Running 7 marathons on 7 continents'. Sure, of course, only not today. Apparently you can take the trackers out of elite sport, but you can't take the elite sport out of the trackers. For the time being I'm going to concentrate on improving my personal record for the 20 meter sprint to the bathroom.

Wijnand IJsselsteijn | professor Cognition and Affect in Human-Technology Interaction