I feel a bit like the brunette version of Bridget Jones dressed up in a bunny costume at the last minute cancelled ‘tarts and vicars’ party, perhaps with even less grace and dignity than her in managing the embarrassment. Among my lab mates all bets are off, with having a platonic phone-relationship with the campus security being on top of the list.

Also, team support is what makes this group pretty unique. ‘Learn Dutch, Vale. These TU/e courses are simply amazing. Lots of international people and new faces. Also, they won’t have the chance to see you more than a couple of hours per week. Isn’t this the secret ingredient for a long-lasting relationship with you?’. ‘Subscribe for the Sport Centre, a safe haven in such a nerdy community. You might have chances with the new volleyball rising stars, as long as you don’t ruin everything by training in front of them.’ ‘Honey, let’s be honest. Your Dutch is terrific, as well as your sport commitment. One chance left: register on Tinder’.

In case you have been thinking - as me - that a new fingers disease is in town, Tinder is an app that lets you swipe yes/no to men’s pictures, while they are swiping yes/no to yours too. If there is a match, you can text each other and eventually set up a date. Being a proudly mentally deviated PhD human being, I felt the urgency for an extensive literature. Here below some hints (all real, believe me!) from ‘highly ranked websites’ on how to make a tasteful yet successful tinder profile.

1. Lead Photo. Choose as profile picture a solo shot, without other people in it. You don’t want potential matches to fall in love with your best friend.

2. (and, my favourite) Use your pets. A picture of you with a dog may be very helpful, especially if the dog is cute.

3. If you can’t think of a good profile description, just leave it blank. Most people are just looking at the profile picture anyway.

4. Your opening line is crucial. Don’t overcook it with a novel, neither with a tired ‘Hey’. An unusual and friendly approach will work in your favour, such as ‘hey Tinderella, can I be your Tinderfella?' 

5. If you are a guy, avoid using emoticons. Studies have shown that emoticon use by males results in less responses.

6. Walk the walk. Don’t talk the talk.Get the meet out of the way quickly, by saying something like ‘Let’s see if we have chemistry in person. What’s your schedule like this week?'

Time for the first pilot experiment, or, perhaps better, to reconsider learning Dutch. 

This column is dedicated to my Roomie, another single as me by (somebody else's) choice.