When you ask someone how they are doing, nine out of ten times the answer will be that they are busy. But is ‘busy’ really an answer to that question? Sure, you’re busy. But how are you? Are you happy? Do you go out and do things that give you energy? Do you get enough rest? What’s your stress level? Let’s talk about stress, baby.

What kind of things do you do, apart from studying? Do these activities cost time, alongside the time you spend studying, which leaves you with less time to relax? So that there’s no time left at the end of the week for a hobby, or for sports? When you go out for drinks on Thursday, you will need to compensate by working in the weekend, or by sleeping less. In short, you have a packed schedule.

Of course, extracurricular activities are fun, but they can also cause a lot of negative energy. Things go wrong, you need to collaborate, fulfil obligations, and you may need to meet more deadlines. You need to present the outside world with a perfectly organized picture though. But there are too many action points behind that façade, too many meetings and too much frustration. And on top of that comes the study commitments, the deadlines, the congested inbox and the countless social obligations. There is so much to arrange and remember! There’s no more room in your head.

That leaves you with both a busy schedule and a busy head. Therein lies the problem: the head wants to unwind, but the schedule won’t allow it. It seems as if there’s never a time when we can really do what we want, because we fill in the empty spaces in our agenda with important or interesting activities. Secretly, that’s perhaps what we mean. We aren’t busy, we feel pressure: the pressure of time and responsibility, social pressure, the pressure of the future, performance pressure. Pressure to go on, not to come to a standstill. Because standing still means moving backwards.

So, why don’t we agree that next time someone asks you how you are doing, you’re answer will not be that you’re ‘busy.’ Here are a few alternatives: it feels as if I’m planning more than my schedule can handle, my head doesn’t cooperate any longer, I’ve reached my limit, I need a break, I don’t get around to what I want to do, my stress level is too high. Or just answer ‘no, I’m not fine, I need a friend.’

You don’t need to hide behind that mask that constantly wants to show the world what a great life you have, and that stress keeps you on the edge. It’s okay when things don’t go smoothly now and then, there’s nothing wrong with reaching your limit sometimes. As long as you allow yourself to regularly release that stress, so that you won’t cross your limit again. This is different for each one of us, which is why it’s pointless to compare yourself to others. But please, be kind to yourself.