CLMN | Learning how to make decisions
Societies can be individually or collectively oriented. During a discussion with drinks, we started talking about Albert Heijn, because this Dutch chain of supermarkets often is a topic of discussion. And why not: this is where the country sources its bread and butter, or cheese rather. So at a point I said with disdain: ‘AH decides what the majority of us students eat, based on the Bonus card’. To which my Dutch friend reacted: ‘So what is the problem? Didn’t your parents decide for you what to eat when you were younger?’ My reaction: ‘No, I could say what I wanted to eat.’ My friends’ reaction: ‘Nooo, you could say what you would like to eat and you would get it?’
Well it didn’t exactly work like a restaurant, but often mom asked me what she should cook, or what I would like to eat. Of course it would also depend on the inventory and other variables like my behavior as a child. ‘Was it not like that for you?’, I asked my friend. ‘No way, we were never asked as kids what we would like to eat. Except when there was a celebration and pancakes were declared for dinner.’
Yeah, in India you can probably decide not only what you, but what the entire family should be eating, but not necessarily who you should marry or what your career choice should be. Whenever I couldn’t decide what to order at a restaurant, my Mom would say: ‘If you cannot make small decisions how will you make life’s big decisions?’
While growing up we are taught to take responsibility and to make decisions for the collective. I was taught to think about dietary needs of family members, and when one member was traveling, we would eat what that particular member detested but others didn’t mind. This was a way for family members to get to know each other and also learn about their decision making capabilities. I can still tell what some of my uncles and aunts prefer when it comes to diet.
Here in the Netherlands the approach is quite different; you are encouraged to find out more about yourself, equipping you to make informed decisions. People for surely know what they would like for themselves. Whichever way, we surely learn to make decisions both good and bad!
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